Inspired by the work of celebrated artist Damien Hirst, I arrange with a prestigious city gallery to show my new collection of sculptural works. I am certain that the show will be the most talked-about for years.
In one large glass case I have installed a violent psychopath who I met previously in a nasty pub. I have instructed him to rush screaming at the walls of his glass prison, frothing at the mouth and gnashing his teeth. He is a genuinely dangerous man, and I feel that the effect on the public will be devastating. I am paying him a lot of money, but I am uncertain as to how long it will be before he feels that I am exploiting him in some way.
There is a small hatch, through which the public may feed him titbits.
In another glass case there is a hungry stray dog, and a chair. For the duration of the exhibition I am in the case with the dog, attempting to spray ventolin into his mouth. I sit on the chair when I get tired, and occasionally, as the days pass, have to defend myself with it. The dog is, if anything, more violent than the psychopath, who now often throws looks of pure hatred at me through the glass.
From my case, I can see that the exhibition is just as much of a success as I had imagined. Unfortunately it seems that if I leave the case, the psychopath will try to kill me.
After a week, the dog tires easily, and I begin to fear for his health. The ventolin has done him no good at all.
My agent runs away with all my money when the show closes, and we three exhibits are left in the gallery, awaiting an uncertain future.
